Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Coaching But Were Afraid to Ask
Almost every week, I get 1-2 emails complimenting me on my FAQ page. It always goes along the lines of “thanks for explaining everything in such detail,” or “now I finally know what it’s all about, huge thanks.”
I’ve also discovered – multiple times – that other coaches plagiarize and copy-paste whole chunks, often word for word, into their own websites. For this, I highly recommend Copyscape – a plagiarism checker, but make sure you sit down or pour a glass of wine before you do.
That’s why I’ve selected “the best of” so even people who come here to read my blog posts can benefit from learning about what coaching is and what it is not.
So let’s dive right in.
Do you need a coach?
No, you don't.
But seriously, do you need a coach?
You don't need a coach, just like you don't need a personal fitness trainer or a nutritionist, for example.
Everybody has the capacity to improve the quality of their own lives.
However, you can choose to hire a professional to help you with your body, your mind, or your career, given that:
They provide clear added value and expertise.
They guide you in an efficient, supportive, and sustainable way.
It's what you want, not what others have told you to do.
It won't place an excessive financial burden on your family or business.
You're genuinely committed to your personal growth and are ready to work hard.
What is a coach good for?
A coach creates a safe conversational space where you can express your feelings, share your challenges, and work out a plan for your future.
They don't judge and they don't make decisions for you.
They provide support, guidance, and encouragement to help you achieve both your short-term goals and long-term visions.
What is a coach not good for?
Telling you what to do.
If that’s what you need, meet a friend, call your parents, or ask your boss. A coach is your partner, who supports you in coming up with your own answers and choosing your own destinations.
How much time would I need to spend on self-work in between sessions?
Self-work is the unsung hero. It isn’t easy, but it will bring you closer to your goals.
So, you do have a choice. You can choose to do nothing. Or you can do quite a lot.
The same holds true when you hire a personal fitness trainer. They can guide you to getting into the best shape of your life, but it's ultimately up to you to show up, sweat, and have fun working out.
If you don't, nobody is going to judge you. If you do, you'll get ripped and strong.
What is the difference between therapy, training, consulting, and coaching?
A therapist looks for the roots of your mental and emotional disorders in order to help you heal.
A trainer helps you develop new skills and knowledge in relevant areas.
A consultant provides professional advice.
A coach guides you to tap into your resources, helps you develop strategies, and encourages you to focus on your future practical solutions rather than dwelling on your past problems.
What do the sessions look like?
During the first few sessions, you and your coach will discuss both your goals and obstacles, as well as your values, needs, beliefs, and the areas of your life you’d like to change.
Based on that, you’ll:
lay out the next steps so you can immediately move forward
make sure that you use your time and energy in a smart way
break down tasks into manageable chunks, so you can breathe
start building good, healthy habits, and help you stick to them
figure out what’s working and what’s not, in your life or business
look for new ways to solve any problem or issue that comes up
At the beginning of each meeting, you’ll review your progress. And at the end, you finish off with a crystal clear plan for the following week.
I’d like to note here that no one's life story is linear, and neither is the coaching process of a specific person. You might come to a coach with one goal and you’ll end up uncovering a totally new one – or a set of new ones – which you'll choose to go ahead with instead.
Who is not a good fit for coaching?
You may look for other options if:
You believe that a coach is someone you hire to fix your problems.
A coach and a client are equal partners, whose relationship is based on trust, collaboration, and mutual respect.
They work together to define goals, identify resources, map out options, and develop strategies.
You're not wholeheartedly committed to making changes to your life.
You wouldn't tell a fitness coach, "I'm too busy right now to go to the gym, but I still need you to help me build muscle and get strong," would you?
No coach is a magician who can make things better for you if you don't invest a substantial amount of time and energy yourself.
