15 "Guilt-Free" Mental Health Boosters You Should Try Today

This is not a "take a bath and hug a tree" post. This is a "f*ck it, I matter" one. It's not about supercharging your productivity, it's not about breaking your bad habits, and it's definitely not about achieving a six-figure success. It's about being selfish enough to look after that fairly important object in your little universe – you. Starting today.

Why is being selfish a good thing? Well, for starters – you can't help others if you don't help yourself first. That's an old one but still gold. A slightly more polished version says that you can't love others if you aren't able to love yourself. Now, you may object that you keep doing things for others because you're a caring, generous, polite, and yes, loving, person. But if we're completely honest with ourselves, saying 'yes' to something we don't want to do is often based on 'I don't want to be disliked, disapproved, or rejected.' That fear is real.

Good vibes attract good vibes. Bad vibes attract bad vibes. Your mental wellbeing is not only responsible for the health of your whole body (!) but also for attracting the very things you want in your life. And while it can be quite a complex and sometimes even painful and tedious process, you can start by trying out one of the things listed below, to offer yourself some love, weed out unwanted guilt, and mostly, reduce the pressure that is crushing you.

1. Tap “Cancel Meeting” and your life will thank you.

This one can be tricky in a corporate or business environment, but for the sake of your mental health, push yourself to cancel at least some of the meetings that do nothing but prey on your soul. 

As far as your personal life goes, it takes a little practice to say 'no' to events you really don't want to go to, but a good friend understands and a bad friend can go.

2. Get rid of clothes that don't fit and have a happy day.

It's a common practice - especially among women - to keep smaller-size pants or dresses in the closet as a motivator to lose weight. 

Now, first, the only force behind losing (or gaining) weight should be your health, both physical and mental. 

Second, you know that fashion brands toy with clothing sizes, so honor your body shape and look for brands that are size-inclusive, some of which offer sizes from 2XS to 6XL.

3. Perform a brutal cleansing of your social media.

We stalk people... wait, let's just say "follow" them because we like to be inspired. We love to see how successful we can become by running a business from a beach for 2 hours per day. The way our abs could get ripped from a 5-minute workout, the way our houses might look neat and organized after a day spent with a toddler... ah, we want it all, too. 

But if each time you spot such a post, instead of feeling energized and motivated, you feel down and guilty, click "unfollow" and breathe.  

I don't need to tell you that social media is the reality you have chosen for yourself. Right?

4. Dump all that guilt and mass-forgive everyone.

You can meditate, you can pray, you can run, or see a therapist when you're not feeling well. But sometimes you're not in the mood. Sometimes there's no energy left. 

For those moments, I have a mantra that I've learned from somebody a while ago and that instantly unloads a lot of baggage from my heart. 
Here it is:

I forgive everyone that has - intentionally or unintentionally - hurt me.

And I ask for forgiveness from everyone that I have - intentionally or unintentionally - hurt.

5. Forgive yourself for not being where you want to be.

It's mental cruelty when you keep telling yourself, "I should/shouldn't have..." or "I should/shouldn't be..." You are where you are at the moment because it's exactly the lesson you need to be taking right now, in order to grow and move onward in the future. 

So stop being cruel to yourself by feeling guilty about your past choices or about your "failures". Because we make our mistakes so we can not only become better people but also have better lives. The bigger the mistake, the bigger the ultimate gain. Trust me on this.

6. Scream until your lungs hurt and your heart vibrates.

When I was a little girl, we lived in a tiny apartment in a tiny building where everyone could hear everything. For some mysterious reason, I remember dreaming to be able to scream out as strongly as I could and see how it felt. 

I must have been 6 or 7 when I decided to make "my dream" come true and climbed to the top of the waste dump on the outskirts. There I did it! And it felt INCREDIBLE. 

Now, finding a place and time to do this without attracting unwanted attention is not easy. But it's definitely worth it. Try it for yourself and tell me if I'm wrong.

(btw, scientific explanation in point #14)

7. Get naked, and impress yourself.

Body shaming is a nasty part of our culture, resulting in people (including young kids) having distorted body image.

For many, even the idea of being nude in their own home feels uncomfortable. Let alone showing up in a swimsuit at a public beach.

Your body deserves your love, not your shame. It works hard for you every single day. It's different. It's unique. It's a living and breathing miracle. There's no other like it in the entire universe.

Whenever you have an opportunity - alone or in the company of someone you trust - spend some time being undressed. Not necessarily in any sexual context. Just to appreciate the beauty that is you.

8. Buy more clothes that you love to wear.

Now, there are two categories.

First - clothes that are not fully pleasant to wear but make you feel pretty and confident.

Second - clothes that are not that presentable but you looove wearing them.

Buy some more of both. Just because.

9. Get rid of all the meaningless stuff in your place.

Sometimes, when everything in your life seems out of order, organizing and tidying up your home can give a booster to your mood. 

To be honest, I've never read any of Marie Kondo's books. Since childhood, I've been known to perform merciless closet detoxes – to the horror of my mom, aka the hoarder – so this comes naturally to me. Plus, I've already managed to turn a few people into regular "declutterers". And even though some amount of resistance usually perseveres, everyone in the end feels better. 

10. Eat something that's void of any nutrition but brings back good memories.

Your favorite childhood cookies? The cheap Chinese soup you would live on as a student? The junk food you only eat when you travel?

Your body is a smart machine, so don't worry, it's capable of eliminating all the bad stuff for once, as long as you don't swallow it together with guilt.

11. Listen to your guilty pleasure playlist (aka the songs you blast when no one is around). 

You know you like it. It’s better than therapy.

And once you're at it, maybe dance around a little?

Naked, perhaps?

12. Call in sick (even if you're not).

Listen, the world is not going to come apart if you take a day off for no reason. Once in a while, give yourself permission to let go, spend the day in PJs, watch Netflix, eat ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and just exist. I'm especially talking to entrepreneurs, freelancers, or parents with a blurred work-life separation line.

If you're about to raise objections right now that your kids won't liberate you just like that, hold on. Yes, it'll take a bit more organizational effort but it's feasible. I'm a mother to twin toddlers, and for my last birthday, I asked my partner for two days and two nights as an extra present. I stayed (blissfully) alone in a secluded mountain chalet and mental health-wise it was perhaps more powerful than anything else on this list.

13. Stop reading books that you don't enjoy.

We all have that one book or two (sometimes a whole bookshelf) that we have started reading because it's something "good for us to read" or we indeed care about the topic but... [lowers her voice] ... it's sooo damn boring. 

So we keep it around, read a few pages here and there, and are bent on plowing through it until the very end.

Hey! You have just one life and a limited amount of time on this planet. There are zillions of books out there you might enjoy, so toss this one aside and find something you genuinely like.

14. Sing!

Experts agree that the ability to carry a tune is more a result of the right training rather than just natural talent. However, no matter what your skill level currently is, you can (and should) enjoy the mental health benefits of singing.

The key to this is the vagus nerve, which is an extremely long nerve that travels from your head to your belly and which is the main component of the parasympathetic - "rest and digest" – nervous system that regulates our reaction to stress. It's also directly connected to your larynx and vocal cords, so when you sing, the vagus nerve is stimulated and it sends a signal to the brain that all is well, lowering your heart rate, relieving tension, and reducing anxiety.

15. And if nothing works, smash something – just don't hurt anyone or anything.

See, we all need to vent every now and then. Don’t let pent-up feelings and emotions take over and blow up like a ticking time bomb. 

Violence is obviously not an answer to any of your problems. Here we're talking about letting out your unpleasant emotions in a safe environment. 

Since repressed frustration or anger are never a good thing, the so-called rage rooms – where you can destroy stuff without any of the usual consequences - have been gaining popularity in the past decade all over the globe.

By the way, if you believe that you're not angry, dig deeper into your mind and notice all those "I don't want...", "I refuse...", "I'm scared of..." warning signs.

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Isn’t it great to not feel afraid or angry? Even if just for a day. To be the one saying no instead of yes, and not feel guilty about it? Or saying yes instead of no, and actually enjoying it? 

Give yourself that gift.